Submitted Anonymously
An Apology to the Bloc for My Words on Aug 22nd
An Apology to the Bloc for My Words on Aug 22nd
When insulting Maranie I used a word I should not have. I have been mulling on my actions for a while, and would like to extend a public (anonymous) apology to the bloc, antifascists and anarchists in general, and to those affected by misogyny and sexism in particular. I should not have used that word because it perpetuates sexual shame. In using that word I added to a long history of using sexual shame to harm and to continue patriarchal control.
I understand that I broke a lot of people’s trust by using misogynist language from someone who should be their ally. It is no doubt hurtful to think that someone has your back only for me to use language that has specifically been used to attack you before.
I want to apologize because I want folks to know that I am doing my best to not ever do that again, and that they can trust the person in black that stands next to them. I want to apologize because I want to, as best as I can, repair that trust, so that we can stand strong together the next time we meet. In my reflections since that day four weeks ago it has really sunk into me that no matter how much work I thought I had accomplished, I still had more to do. That it will be a life-long task for me to erase all the ingrained sexism and misogyny I have in me. But I want to do that, because it is the right thing to do: to fight the harm that I was taught.
Though this apology is anonymous, I would like to reassure you, too, that my close friends have had many conversations with me, and that my first apologies were to them, for violating their trust. Some people have cut contact with me, but others have made sure to stick around and ensure that I do not hurt again, and I thank them for that.
Onwards.